I need a, Bristol based, girl friend

It's true, I do. I need someone to tell me if my dress is too dressy, if it actually looks like a curtain, if my hair is too messy and all sorts of other girl problems I'm having like bra picking and shoe picking and bag picking! If anyone's reading, you've gotta tell me if I'm infact wearing a curtain and if an on-show bra strap is a definite faux pas..because I'm inclined to not care and just go out however I feel after the rest of my Lambrini. Now..I know what you're thinking..lambrini girl, right? Wrong! It's £1.50ish for 7.5% booze and I think it's pretty drinkable too. It seems all very logical and practical to me.